A Celebration of the Lives of Lisa and Louie Waterman At Three Counties Crematorium, Braintree on 13th February 2012 Humanist Celebrant: Linda Morgan Music: "You Raise Me Up", Westlife We meet today united in grief for the tragic loss of two lives; Lisa and Louie Waterman. Lisa was a beautiful young woman in the prime of her life, and Louie’s arrival was eagerly awaited in anticipation of a wonderful new future for Lisa and Phil. Sadly, that wasn’t to be. In a cruel and unexpected way, mother and child died in the presence of those who loved them. We have no way to tell how Louie’s personality and character might have emerged had there have been time, but we do know that, because he was loved, he would have been nurtured and encouraged every step of the way. Now is the time for anger against the unfairness of life; a numb realisation that life and death are random events that, in the final analysis, we cannot control as we would like. It’s also a time to reflect that love brings us together and that we can find strength in the bosom of our families when grief threatens to overwhelm us. More than anything, though, it’s time to reflect on the love that Lisa and Louie have brought to your lives. Lisa was a loving and giving person, happy and carefree. She was a good listener and that made her a good friend. A daughter, sister, wife and briefly a mother, you will all have memories of her that will serve to keep her close to you, in your hearts and minds. Little Louie touched our hearts too, and his granddad Mike has found a poem that reflects that: "The world may never notice If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom, Or even pause to wonder If the petals fall too soon. But every life that ever forms, Or ever comes to be, Touches the world in some small way For all eternity. The little one we longed for Was swiftly here and gone. But the love that was then planted Is a light that still shines on. And though our arms are empty, Our hearts know what to do. Every beating of our hearts Says that we love you." I’d like to read something that Phil has written to his wife and child. My Lisa and Louie Lisa, words can’t describe what you mean to me. I can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years since we first met in Spain, they say time flies when you’re having fun! People say that a holiday romance never lasts but we showed them babe. I remember my first trip down to Bristol. It was a sunny Sunday morning, don’t think you knew how much I wanted to see you, the trouble being you had been out the night before and perhaps had one too many drinks and hadn’t anticipated me leaving Essex at 7.30am to get to Bristol to see you. We met at the bottom of the M32, somehow you got yourself out of bed and looking amazing!! I then followed you back to your flat where you proceeded to lay on your bed and fell asleep. I covered you with your duvet and laid with you for a couple of hours, which enabled you to get some more beauty sleep. You woke up stunned and asked what the time was, you then took me for lunch at the Buttery at the Docks....at this point you were looking as green as your apple juice! After lunch and your trying to explain your Gluten intolerance you decided to take me to your Parents house to meet your parents and little sister, or so I was lead to believe. You can imagine to my surprise when your Aunt, uncle and cousins all happened to be there! It was all going fine until your Dad and Uncle thought it would be funny to put a chair in the middle of a circle and ask all sorts of questions....the one sticking in my mind is your Dad asking what was in Stansted other than a runway and a pub at the end of it? Your first trip up here was a great one although I didn’t get off to the best start when you told me the speed you travelled at to get here in your little Ford KA. Listening to you ask my Mum where the "tuthpaste" was, is something I’ll never forget and laugh at every time I think of it. We found it hard to be apart and phone bills of 3 figure sums showed how much time we spent on the phone, in fact Vodafone showed record profits from July 2002. January 2003 you hurt your wrist and couldn’t work. Despite Physio and rest it didn’t seem to get any better, I took this opportunity to ask you to come and live with me at least until your wrist was better. You moved up to Essex in February 2003 into my room which fortunately had a lot of storage space, not that you’ve got too many handbags or pairs of shoes. You fit in straight away and start work in the B & B with my Mum, I think she likened you to a bumble bee always buzzing about. You discovered that we had a quad on the farm and you love it, I take you around the fields on it and let you take the controls only due to the fact I have to assist you in steering because your wrist is still not 100%. You start to fall in love with life on the farm and one day I ask you to look out of the bedroom window, you look out and discover to your astonishment, 10 or so Deer and your face lights up. I’ll never forget it! Your love for the Deer has never changed and when I get you and Louie home you can see them all the time xx Your love for animals continues to show as you keep sneaking the family greyhound “Sam” into our room, only for my Dad to find out and put him back in his bed! Two years pass and the B & B is extended, we are lucky enough not to be kicked out but instead have our own place built on the end of the house. This is when you put your stamp on things, everything in our place is you Lisa and I love all of it, even the “toot” as I call it. Over the years we’ve had some great holidays, I remember in France on a family holiday you decided to sun-bathe topless much to your Aunts disappointment. To be fair, your Dad was naked on the lido the previous day, maybe that’s where you get it from? Your wrist is now a lot better and you decide to try mobile hair-dressing as opposed to a salon. We post your cards door to door and you start to worry as you don’t have any interest. We leave some cards at Figurewise where you do the owners hair for her, people who use figurewise ask her where she gets her hair cut and coloured, needless to say you are inundated with bookings after this! You decide to work part-time in Tony & Guy in Bishop’s Stortford to keep up with the new techniques, after a few months you are sent on a cutting course at the Tony & Guy training centre in Tottenham Court Road. It was a 6 week course starting at the end of November and finishing at the start of January. You came back from your first day concerned that you wouldn’t be able to do the course! I dropped you off at Stansted Airport station as usual the next day and said just do your best. At the end of your course and a few Starrbucks later, yourself and one other girl pass the course and given she was supplied with models and you had to ask people off the street, I find it even more of an achievement of what you accomplished. I remember coming up with you on your last day at Tottenham Court Road and seeing you after, you wouldn’t believe how proud I was of you, although after a few drinks throughout the day I may have told you every 5 minutes or so! I think your time in London may have developed your love for the Big Smoke as after this we go to see several shows, the one that sticks to mind has to be “Jersey Boys” seeing as we’ve seen it twice, the second time with your parents, your Mum took note of the way you were sitting on the edge of your seat throughout the performance. We bought their Live show Soundtrack and you repeatedly play “Oh what a night” Back to hairdressing Lisa (Tink), you travel over most of Essex it seems to look after many clients, this meant you working silly hours and travelling far too much. You then decide to work from home and ask your clients if they would be able to come to you. You were concerned that many wouldn’t but to your surprise the majority did. In April 2009 I ask you to marry me and despite being dressed in my sweaty football kit, you to my delight accept. Needless to say we were looking at places to hold the wedding a week or so after. We settled on Whitehall, Broxted. The date is set for April 16th 2010, plans start to be made which 90% was all your doing, not that I minded. After working at home for a year or so you start to struggle and spend the odd day or two in bed feeling very tired, we later find out that you are suffering from Chronic Fatigue. This you suffer from for some time until you hear of a course in Norfolk called The Lightning Process. You book a 5 day course in April 2008 and you, myself and the 3 girls head off to Broadland Park, sounds daft but one of our best trips away. You excel at this course making what I can only call a full recovery. The night before our Wedding we have a family meal at the Sea Witch in Lindsell which happens to be your favourite place to eat at this time. Perhaps it was pre-wedding nerves but we both ended up drinking a little more than we should. The morning of our Wedding I wake up feeling very nervous for the big day. Even more so when your hairdresser turns up at the farm looking for you rather than going to Whitehall as she was supposed to do! I leave to get to the hotel with my best man and ushers, on arrival we have a quick drink and some photos taken. It’s now almost 2pm and we are about to be married, everyone is seated and we wait for you to arrive. The music starts and your Dad walks you through the door on his arm. I am stunned by how beautiful you look and when you stood next to me the nerves just melted away, they were replaced with the excitement of you becoming my wife. It was without doubt the best day of our lives and will be with us always. Just under a year goes by and some of our best times also. It’s Mothers Day (April 3rd 2011) and you decided to take a pregnancy test, as we had decided to start a family of our own. I’ll never forget your face when to your surprise it indicated positive, as I’m sure you’ll never forget mine! Given it’s Mothers day you wait all of 30 minutes to phone your Mum and tell her the news. We then tell my Mum and Dad. We wait 12 weeks to tell most people as we were recommended to do so by the GP and Midwife, we even book a scan at 10 weeks to make sure everything is fine, which it is. We were offered a chance to take part in Pops trial which we accepted as we got to have extra scans at 28 and 36 weeks. Our 20 week scan was a big one. It’s where we got to see what we were having. ... Do you remember my face as the midwife told us we were going to have our boy? We get to work on a name pretty much as we are leaving the hospital, now given we are at the 20 week stage it’s said the sickness should start to ease off by now. For some reason it doesn’t and you continue to be sick throughout the pregnancy but despite this you seem to be the happiest you have ever been. I can’t contain myself as your bump gets bigger, the more and more pictures of you I take, you look perfect with your baby on board. The days seem to fly past and we are quickly approaching our due date. We start to sort the house and have the baby’s room changed to suit, I paint the room and get the furniture up and ready. We buy no end of nappies and clothes for our boy. It’s the 10th of December, our due date. You seem disappointed when he doesn’t want to come out on time. ... I remind you if he’s anything like his Mum he is bound to be late. Fifteenth of December is here and you wake up in the night having contractions. I get up with you and get everything we need together, you then text your Mum saying we are on the way to the Rosie. I can’t talk about anything else that day other than to tell you we are the proud parents of a beautiful little boy, Louie Raymond Waterman, born on the 15th December weighing 8lbs 9ounces. Louie my boy, it wasn’t meant to be this way but I will treasure every moment I spent with you and I’m looking forward to bringing you home where you belong. Lisa the 4 days that passed I need you to know I was with you and that I always will be. Lisa and Louie, to say that I love you both doesn’t even come close. Now Lisa look after our boy and Louie look after your Mum and just remember you will always be with me, we will never be apart. I am going to keep you here forever in my heart. Your ever loving Husband and Father, Phil x x x Let’s pause now to reflect on our feelings for Lisa and Louie. Music: "Just the Way You Are", Bruno Mars Despite the grief and overwhelming sadness of the events of the last few weeks, we should remember that Lisa’s life was filled with love, and all the time Louie spent in his mother’s womb he was loved. That love will remain with us, it cannot be taken away. It is part of the past, we feel it today, and it will go on into the future. Though you all feel the pain of your loss, it unites you in a common bond. Part of that love may, in time, be transformed in some way. It might become a feeling of empathy for others undergoing pain, or perhaps support for vulnerable people, some kind of charitable thoughts or feelings; though life will never be the same, it may transform into something which has beauty. And now Mike, Lisa’s Dad and Louie’s Granddad, would like to say a few words. According to the calendar today is just another ordinary day. But days aren’t ordinary any more. Lately they have been full of sadness and grief. We find it very difficult coping with the grief and sometimes the grief and sorrow turn to frustration and anger. Sometimes we take out that anger on other people. But we don’t mean it. Dealing with the grief and sadness is part of a learning curve and today is part of that learning. Louie, we never got to take you to the park, to go on the swings and roundabout or play football with you. I bet you would have had a sweet left foot, just like your Mum. And a sweet right foot, just like your Dad. Louie, your Mum was fun. She put the fun in funfair. She was a funfair. She was toffee apple and candy floss, bright lights and loud music, the big-dipper and the merry-go-round, the hula-hoop stall and the dodgems. Your Mum was fun Louie. Get her to take you to the funfair. Some days the sun shines and it’s there for all to see. Other days you can’t see the sun. It’s hidden behind the clouds, but it’s still there. Just like us, some days you will look at us and see the grief. It will be there for all to see. Other days, you won’t be able to see it, it will be hidden but it will still be there. Sometimes, when the sun goes down, It seems it will never rise again… but it will. Poem: Sometimes, when you feel alone, It seems your heart will break in two… but it won’t. And sometimes, it seems it’s hardly worthwhile carrying on… But it is. For sometimes, when the sun goes down, It seems it will never rise again, But it does Now we must leave Lisa and Louie here; their ashes will soon be returning to their home, but just now we have to say goodbye as we commit their bodies to be returned to the elements from which they came. We do so with heavy hearts and great sadness, but we are so grateful to both of them for what they have brought to our lives; the richness of love. Music: "Winter’s Song," Sara Bareilles